What He Loved
by MistOfGrayDawn
Summary: The last moments of your life are when everything becomes clear.


_What He Loved_

** Robin is dying, and she thinks of all that Luffy has done for her and the crew.**

I should have known. I should have seen it coming. I was the one who should have told them. But I knew it; I didn't believe it. I was blinded, blinded by his strength. His was strength I had never seen before. It was like fire, blazing and burning and protecting, but destroying all the same. It was once hot and life-giving, like the blood that stains the sand around me.

That was what destroyed him. His own strength. I would laugh, if I could. Ironic, isn't it, that I can see clearly now? I see that I was blinded by the most accursed of diseases: love. I had never known this curse in all my empty, worthless life, until I met Monkey D. Luffy. It was a disease that thawed my heart, destroyed my cold resolve.

But what a lovely curse it was. I was blind, but I did not care to see. This lovely, terrible curse held me in its grasp so tight. How I loved it, and how I hated it. I remember everything in these last moments, the details so sharp and breathtakingly vivid, and I can only guess that such is the way of the dying mind. The way his eyes would light up when he saw any of us, no matter how long or how short it had been. The way he never gave up on any of us.

It feels good to finally say that word. _Us._ I can say it now, and say it with love in my heart. My nakama are whom I belong with. For so long I searched for the answers to history, but was that really what I was searching for?

Perhaps I had given up on that long ago. Was that why I could not find anything? Could it be that I had already found what I was looking for? I am surprised I still have the strength to smile.

_Yes, I found it a long time ago._ I can see it now. Funny, isn't it, that I see it only now, as I lay dying with a bullet in my chest. Soon I will join them again; I can feel it.

It was difficult to understand at first. We had only just arrived in this New World. How could we be stopped so early in our journey? I don't know.

I should have known. I was always the one that knew. But in that long-ago moment I was as foolish as the rest of them, blinded by his strength. I thought his strength would protect him, protect all of us.

How I was wrong... They ran us down, waves upon waves, thousands upon thousands. _They were ready for us._ I remember now. We stood no chance, and he knew that. But he never stopped fighting. A hundred swords pierced him, and a hundred more seastone bullets riddled his body. But he never stopped fighting. He tried so hard to protect what he loved.

_What he loved…_ It wasn't gold, or treasure, or even his own life. It was us. All of us. His nakama. We all fought to protect him as well, but there was nothing we could do.

_Nothing we could do…_ I cannot bring myself to say it, even now. Even though I saw it happen.

I saw it happen. They all fought so hard…

_Zoro_… His name still makes me smile, even though I rarely spoke it. He must have killed a thousand with those swords and taken as many wounds. But it is the nature of the demon to perform demonic feats. And that he did. He slew another thousand, even after they started dropping the bombs.

The bombs took three of us. They didn't even have time to scream, though I remember screaming, just as the first wave of death fell from the sky. All in one spot, Brook's music was silenced forever. The Great Captain Usopp would never tell another tale. And the _Thousand Sunny_ would never fire another Coup de Burst without its shipwright.

I remember another scream as well. It tore my heart to see him like that, with pain and terror in his eyes. They slew him like an animal, not a warrior. I killed them for that, but that was not enough to undo what had already been done. Tony Tony Chopper died with the death screams of his nakama in his ears and agony in his body, after thirteen blades were driven into him. There was nothing I could do.

_Nothing I could do…_ There was nothing I could do as I watched the land mines explode beneath their feet. She tried to run, our navigator with the heart of fire, but who can run fast enough to outpace death? There was nothing left of her, but she was never alone.

Our stupid, foolish, loving cook had once said he would follow her anywhere. And that was just what he did. His final words were, "I'm coming, Nami-san!" Just before the land mines blew them both to oblivion.

Zoro must have slain ten thousand of them before he fell. He should not have fallen that way. They knew they stood no chance, so they took the coward's way out. Six of them all fired at once, at his back. It is cowardly and low to attack a swordsman from behind; that much I had learned from him. But they didn't care. They didn't care about honor, or pride, or keeping a promise.

And still he fought. He killed them, and more. But not even Pirate Hunter Zoro can last with six bullets in his body. He fell. I wanted so badly to be with him as he died, but I couldn't. I knew what he would have said.

"_Why are you wasting your time with me when your captain is still alive? Go and fight for him_." I can almost hear his voice now. Yes, that was what he would say. But I will never truly know. I was still fighting against firebombs and seastone bullets as he lay on the rocky shore, slowly bleeding out his life.

And Luffy… I think the death of his oldest friend both empowered and destroyed him. The fire of his heart burned ever stronger with the desire to avenge him, but even the strongest blaze will eventually consume itself. It's only a matter of time.

It was only ever a matter of time for all of us. I was living on borrowed time as it was. It just caught up with us sooner than expected. My strength is fading now… I will not last much longer. But for that I am grateful. I will not live long enough for hatred to consume my soul any more than it already has; I will not be turned into a demon of hate and vengeance. Not again.

I stare up at the blue, cloudless sky, wondering if this is the joke of some cruel god. Could it be that our suffering is a mere comedy to the deities of the sky? Perhaps this meteorological beauty is a cruel twist, as if the sky is taking pleasure in our destruction.

I wonder if this day will be remembered as the day the Pirate King died, slaughtered like an animal. Most likely not. The Marines will never allow this news to reach the ignorant public before they want it to. They will twist the story so it is only a hideous doppelganger of the original, hiding a slaughter inside the noble skin of a tale of bravery and heroism.

Bravery and heroism. Both are hollow terms to me. This world's definition of 'bravery' is sending innocent men into battle to die so you can say you won. This world's definition of 'heroism' is murdering good people for the sake of glory, greed, and power. It makes me sick.

I made a promise, to myself and to my nakama, that I wouldn't run. If the World Government came for me, I would make sure that no harm would come to my nakama. I could not allow them to be hurt for my sake. I couldn't run anymore. How could I ever leave such a precious gift behind?

But now I have no reason to run. My nakama are gone, and I am fading. I never found what was in the Void Century, but there's no use lying to myself anymore. That was an empty goal. I had already found what I was looking for when I joined Monkey D. Luffy's crew.

There is nothing left to run from, I realize as my vision starts to blur. I can only pray that I will see them on the other side, waiting for me. The ground beneath my back feels less and less solid as the seconds pass, the lapping of the scarlet waves at the shore less clear.

The pain in my chest begins to fade, my harsh, rattling breaths growing weaker as my lungs fill with hot, coppery blood. My own blood stains the sand around me, and it runs just as red as that of my nakama. I can no longer feel the ground beneath me, and the blue sky is just barely visible.

I have the strength to smile one last time, even as warm, metallic blood dribbles from between my lips. Monkey D. Luffy did not die in vain. He would not want anyone to believe that. Everything is going dark now, but I am not afraid. It was all for what he loved.

_What he loved…_ I smile, and the sky bleeds into darkness.


End file.
